The Ultimate Guide to Staying Consistent With the Six Intimacy Skills (Even If You’ve Tried Before and Gave Up)

Remember when you promised yourself this would be the time you finally stayed consistent with the Six Intimacy Skills?The season you’d turn things around… feel close to your husband again… and experience that sweet sense of being loved, seen, and cherished?

If you’ve found yourself here, chances are the Skills already spoke to something deep inside you.

Maybe they felt like a lifeline. Maybe, for the first time in a long time, you felt a flicker of hope. A sense of “This could actually work…”

And yet—good intentions aren’t always enough.

Especially when emotions are high.When you’re exhausted, touched out, or in the middle of one of those hard moments that no one really prepares you for.When you’re giving your all and still wondering if it’s even working.

You’re not alone in that. Most women who crave deeper connection already know the Six Intimacy Skills are powerful. Especially the self-aware, committed ones (like you) who are doing the brave work of standing for their marriage, their family, and their heart—without losing themselves in the process.

Creating lasting change in your relationship only works if you stay consistent, approach it with grace, and give yourself permission to do it imperfectly.

This post is for you. To help you stay consistent—not by being perfect, but by being supported. Not through pressure, but through alignment, encouragement, and compassion.

By the end of this post, you’ll know:

• Why staying consistent with the Skills matters (even in today’s world)

• The common mistakes that make women feel like they’ve “failed”

• A gentle, doable path to stay on track without burning out

• Tools, support, and bonus strategies to make the journey easier

• How to reconnect with your “why” and grow in confidence

Let’s dive in.

If you need a quick refresher of what the Six Intimacy Skills are, don't worry- I've got you.

Why staying consistent with the Six Intimacy Skills still matters in 2025

In a world where marriages end quietly every day, where women are praised for doing it all, and where husbands are often seen as optional—choosing to stand for your marriage with dignity and consistency is nothing short of radical.

Maybe you’ve wondered, “Why bother with the Six Intimacy Skills at all? Shouldn't he have to do the work to change too?”

Of course. And how he interacts with you will change in response to you. But all you can control is yourself. So why not lean into your power? After all, all it takes is one person who takes the initiative to begin a new dance.

And maybe you’ve wondered, “Why just stick to the Intimacy Skills when there's so many marriage podcasts, therapy apps, and TikTok advice out there?”

Those things can offer insights—but they don’t create transformation.

What does create transformation is this:

Consistency with the Six Intimacy Skills. It still matters. Maybe more than ever.

1. It Heals You First

When you show up consistently for the Skills, it’s not just your relationship that transforms—it’s you. You begin to rediscover your joy. You find your voice. You feel confident, magnetic, and deeply grounded in your feminine power. You remember who you really are.

2. It Creates Emotional Safety at Home

Consistency offers predictability. And predictability offers safety. That sense of emotional calm and groundedness you’re craving? It starts with your steady presence—and ripples out into your marriage, your children, and your home.

3. It Keeps You Rooted in Who You Really Want To Be (Even When Life Gets Busy)

In a distracted world, having something sacred to return to matters. Practicing the Skills with intention helps you stay focused on what truly brings connection, instead of reacting from fear, control, or overwhelm.

4. It Builds Confidence Through Practice

Every time you use the Skills—whether you nail it or not—you’re creating new relational muscles. This builds quiet confidence that grows stronger with time. You start trusting yourself. And that kind of confidence? It’s irresistible.

5. You Break Generational Cycles

Every time you choose compassion over control, softness over sarcasm, peace over power struggles—you’re healing more than just your relationship. You’re rewriting a legacy. By modeling a healthy relationship to your kids and other's around you, you set the tone for their future and quality of relationships.

"A joyful wife is a magnet for her husband." — Laura Doyle

Want to read more about how to create emotional connection in your marriage? Click to get your free guide.

Common mistakes beginners make with the Six Intimacy Skills

Before we get into the how-to, let’s talk about some gentle course-corrections. Here are a few common missteps I often see:

Mistake 1: Trying to copy someone else’s way

We can be so inspired by what works for others—but your marriage is one-of-a-kind. What works beautifully for one woman may feel awkward or forced for you. And that’s okay. Start from your truth.

A client once tried to mirror exactly what another student shared in a Facebook group. But her husband didn’t respond the same way. Why? Because their husbands are different people—and because she wasn’t embodying the Skills authentically. Her focus was on getting a reaction (his paper), not on practicing her own growth (her paper).

Mistake 2: Doing too much too soon

If you’ve ever tried to master all six skills in one week, you’re not alone. But it’s not sustainable. Starting small is not failure—it’s wisdom.

It’s like deciding to run a marathon without training. You’re setting yourself up for burnout and discouragement. True consistency comes from manageable steps, small wins, and gradually building momentum.

Mistake 3: Giving up when things don’t shift right away

This is the one I see most often, and it's heartbreaking. Healing takes time. One woman I coached felt discouraged when her husband didn’t respond to her warm "thank you" with the kind of reaction she hoped for. But rebuilding trust and shifting decades of patterns doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time. It takes heart.

What to do instead:

• Start with just ONE Skill

• Keep track of your wins—even the tiny ones

• Let consistency be your superpower, not perfection

Have you ever whispered to yourself, “Maybe it’s just too late”? If so, I want you to know this:

It’s not too late. You’re not behind. You’re right on time.

Here’s my signature framework to finally stay consistent with the Six Intimacy Skills

Step 1: Pick ONE Skill to Focus On Weekly

Trying to juggle all six skills right away can backfire. Instead:

• Choose the one that speaks to your current struggle (e.g., if there’s lots of resentment, try Self-Care)

• Stick with it for 7 days before adding anything new

Example: A client named Brooke focused only on gratitude for a week. She kept a running list of everything her husband was contributing and positive ways he was showing up for her. By day 4, he was mirroring back her gratitude and smiling at her!

Step 2: Anchor It to a Habit You Already Have

Behavior change needs a trigger. Try:

• Expressing gratitude during dinner

• Practicing vulnerability in bed before sleep

• Doing self-care right after school drop-off

This helps the new behavior stick.

Step 3: Track It

Use a journal, have an accountability buddy, or use a simple habit tracker. Celebrate the doing, not the result.

• Ask yourself daily: "Did I practice my skill today? How did it feel?"

• Give yourself gold stars and pats on the back. Yes, really.

Step 4: Celebrate Tiny Wins

• Did he smile at you?

• Did you feel less tense?

• Did you enjoy yourself more?

That all counts. Celebrate it!

Step 5: Get Support (You Deserve It)

One of the biggest reasons women fall off track isn’t a lack of willpower—it’s a lack of support.

Without it, the journey can feel isolating. Doubts creep in. You might start questioning if the Skills are working or if it’s worth it to keep going. It’s easy to lose inspiration—or even hope.

But when you have others walking beside you—whether it’s a trusted coach, a like-minded friend, or a loving community—you stay connected to the bigger picture. You remember who you are and why you started.

Support doesn’t mean weakness. It means wisdom. The key to lasting consistency? Community.

Let yourself be held.

Want a cozy, nurturing space to grow? [Join my Intimacy Skills community or explore private coaching.]

What tools or resources can help?

Here are a few helpful tools to keep you steady and supported while practicing the Six Intimacy Skills:

1. The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle – Let's be real- all of Laura Doyle's books are amazing. But The Empowered Wife is the creme de la creme in my opinion. And it's a great way to get a full introduction (or refresher) to the Six Intimacy Skills with relatable examples and actionable tips.

2. The Empowered Wife Podcast by Laura Doyle – Inspiring stories from real wives and practical tools for women committed to transforming their marriages.

3. 5 Steps to Reignite Connection in Your Marriage (Free Guide) – Download my practical guide to start rebuilding intimacy today.

4. My Blog – Weekly encouragement, personal stories, and guidance on living out the Intimacy Skills with authenticity.

Bonus tips to make the Intimacy Skills easier to stick with

Tip 1: Stay connected to the Skills. Whether it’s listening to an Empowered Wife podcast episode on your commute, attending a weekly coaching call, or sharing wins with a like-minded friend, this ongoing connection keeps your growth alive.

Tip 2: Create a soft landing for hard days. When you feel off-track, return to your favorite Skill, even in the smallest way. A single act of self-care or a sincere expression of gratitude can reset your day and get you back on track.

Tip 3: Always know your "why." Staying grounded in the reason you’re standing for your marriage and the vision you're working towards will carry you through the hardest moments with clarity and strength.

You don’t have to do this alone

If you’re ready to finally feel peaceful and confident using the Intimacy Skills—without the pressure to do it perfectly—you’re in the right place.

Download my free 5 Steps to Reignite Connection in Your Marriage guide, join my community for Empowered Wives, or explore if private coaching is your best next step.

You deserve a relationship filled with warmth, trust, and joy. And the beautiful thing is—you already have everything you need inside you to begin.

Recap for the skimmers

• Staying consistent with the Six Intimacy Skills is essential for any real transformation in your marriage and lasting change

• Common mistakes include doing too much, copying others, and ESPECIALLY quitting too soon

• Use the "One Skill Per Week" framework to avoid burnout and build mastery and momentum

• Tools like journals, habit apps, and support communities make a huge difference

• Don’t do it alone — support accelerates your success

Remember: Progress, not perfection. Practice over performance. Connection over control.

And if you need help getting there, I’m just an email away. (Feel free to reach out to info@coachlauraamador.com to get in touch)

Xoxo,

Laura Amador

Laura Doyle Certified Relationship Coach and Intimacy Skills Expert