When Your Marriage Anniversary Doesn't Feel Like Something to Celebrate

When Your Marriage Anniversary Doesn't Feel Like Something to Celebrate

 

We celebrated our 13 year wedding anniversary this week.

We were kids who showed up at the town hall with big dreams and no idea what we were signing up for. 😂

 Anniversaries weren't always joyful though...

I still remember one our worst.. We didn't talk in the car all the way to the restaurant. As we waited for our appetizer, we sat facing each other with nothing to say.

By dessert, I was looking away, trying to hide my tears from the busboy who came to collect our plates.

Things felt so disconnected and lonely, it felt like there really wasn't much to celebrate.

And yet here we are. Still together and happier than ever.

What Changed in Our Marriage

Did we just stick it out, cross our fingers and pray things would eventually get better?

No. I made a choice. And I learned some skills. And applied them like my life depended on them.

Our marriage is now my soft place to land, to feel cherished and adored.

So on Monday, we celebrated. 🥂 🧑‍🎨 🎨

We went to a paint bar. We giggled like school kids at the back of the class as we painted our sunsets and sipped champagne.

At the end, we inscribed little love notes and gave each other the painting we made as a gift. 🥰

Don't Mistake Where You Are for Where You'll Always Be

I share that with you because I know that some of you are in the middle of the part of the story that I remember so well. You may be looking at your marriage right now and wondering how it could possibly become something different from what it is today.

Maybe you're tired, disappointed, lonely, or simply wondering whether it's even possible to feel close again.

I can't promise you exactly what your story will look like, but I can tell you that I have personally experienced the difference between sitting across from my husband at an anniversary dinner wondering what there was left to celebrate and sitting beside him years later at a little paint bar, laughing together and feeling incredibly grateful for the life we've built.

Sometimes the chapter you're in makes it very hard to imagine the chapter that's coming next.

That's okay. You don't have to know exactly how you're going to get there. You just have to keep choosing the next small step that moves you toward the kind of woman you want to be and marriage you want to experience.

So that's my little bit of encouragement for you this week: don't mistake where you are for where you'll always be.

There is so much that can change when we begin changing the way we show up in our marriages, even when the change feels small at first.

If today your marriage anniversary doesn't feel like something to celebrate, I'm sending you lots of love and hoping you get a little reminder this week that your story isn't over yet. ❤️

Xo,

Laura

PS. If you'd like to learn more about how you can transform your marriage, my free guide: 3 Steps To Reignite Connection is a great place to start.