Week 10: Softening My Heart (And Face) With A Smile Campaign- One Small Habit For A Better Marriage

Week 10 of The Softening Series: 10 Weeks of Deepening My Marriage

How a marriage can grow dull, stale, and disconnected

I noticed something this week that got me thinking about how staleness in a marriage can be such an easy pattern to fall into if you’re distracted or caught unawares. 

Because lately, every night when my husband comes home and asks me how I am, I’ve noticed that I’ve been responding with the same old answer every time…“Tired.”

And the thing is.. it’s true. I have felt tired lately.

But as I caught myself repeating it night after night, I realized how incomplete that answer actually is. And honestly.. How lazy that answer is.

Because yes, I’m tired… but I’m also so many other things. I’m grateful. I’m tender. I’m happy. I’m proud of myself. I’m full of thoughts and feelings and experiences that don’t get touched when I offer just that one word.

And it made me reflect on how incredibly easy it is for a marriage to begin to feel stiff, hollow, or stale - not because anything is necessarily “wrong,” but because these small, daily moments start to lose their aliveness and connectedness. 

When our interactions become automatic and lacking deeper thought or presence. When we stop offering the fuller truth of ourselves. When the little exchanges that make up our days begin to dull.

Those moments accumulate. They quietly shape how connected (or disconnected) we feel.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself during this ten-week Softening adventure, it’s that I’m not someone who can stand by and watch things grow distant between us. I can’t pretend not to notice (and don’t want to). 

I can’t outsource that responsibility. I have to be willing to pull up my sleeves, do the reflecting, and do the intentional work of tending to my own inner world while being open and vulnerable to my husband.

I have to be willing to fill my cup. To focus on the goodness that already exists in my life. To consciously decide the kind of woman I want to be inside my marriage.

And what I felt myself longing for this week was to be warm, cheerful, playful, and fun.

Not in a forced way, or a “fake it till you make it” way. But in a real way, where my inner child comes alive and words like “busy”, “tired”, or “stressed” fall to the wayside- because they just can’t do justice to the experience I have when I’m actually grounded and present in my life. 

One Small Habit For A Better Marriage

Over the last 10 weeks, I’ve been softening my heart... Now I want to soften my face (literally)- with a smile campaign.

So I’ve committed to smiling at my husband (and my kids) every time I see them, walk past them, or speak to them. Big, cheesy, slightly ridiculous smiles. The kind that feel like almost too much.

Even if it means hearing, “What’s wrong with mom?” or “Why is she smiling like a lunatic?” That's the point.

And what I’ve noticed is this: yes, when I feel good on the inside, I naturally smile more. But it works the other way, too. When I smile more, something inside of me softens and lifts. My body remembers lightness. My nervous system settles. Joy becomes more accessible.

Nothing else changed this week. Just my expression.

And with that one simple change, everything felt a little warmer. It's one small habit for a better marriage.

Say cheese

If you want to soften alongside me during this final week of The Softening Series, here’s what I’m inviting you to try...

A simple smile campaign.

For the next few days, experiment with softening (your face) on purpose. 

Smile when your husband walks in the room. 

Smile when you make eye contact. 

Smile when you pass by him. 

And I’m not talking about that tight-lipped smile you might give a stranger passing on the street… I mean the type of smile you give to a cute puppy, or your best friend. 

Notice what shifts. Notice how it feels in your body. Notice how it changes the energy between you.

Let this be gentle. Let it be playful. Let it without pressure or expectations. Just experiment. 

The lesson

What this week has reminded me of is that intimacy isn’t always built through big conversations or emotional breakthroughs. Often, it’s shaped through the smallest, most embodied moments- through presence, expression, and the energy we bring into the space we share.

This warmth communicates safety. Our bodies and expressions are constantly speaking, whether we realize it or not.

Is this the end of the Softening Series?

As I come to the end of this Softening Series, I feel such immense gratitude...

Gratitude or my marriage, for meeting myself again and again as I choose to show up differently. For you- for reading, reflecting, and softening alongside me over these ten weeks. For everything this journey has taught me about honesty, intimacy, and staying awake inside my own life.

And I’ll be honest.. When I realized this series was coming to an end, I felt a surprising sadness. I knew I was going to miss this level of openness and vulnerability with you. And that’s when I felt a strong, clear desire to continue.

Which is why I’m so excited to share that this isn’t an ending- it’s a transition.

I’m delighted to introduce The Softening Into Love Podcast.

This podcast is a continuation of everything I’ve been sharing here: real moments from my real marriage, the inner shifts they invite, and gentle reflections you can explore in your own relationship. It’s a space for wives who feel unseen or disconnected, who still believe in love, and who want to come alive again, not by fixing their husband, but by reconnecting with themselves.

I’ll be releasing new episodes every Thursday, and I would love for you to join me there.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for trusting me with your heart. Thank you for softening with me.

Xoxo,

Laura Amador

Laura Doyle Certified Relationship Coach and Intimacy Skills Expert