My Fall Self-Care & Desires Lists to Feel Loved and Recharged In My Marriage This Season

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At the turn of every season, I used to notice something unsettling: my marriage suddenly felt… harder.

I’d feel more disconnected. Little resentments started bubbling up. I was shorter with my husband, more irritated, and honestly, less fun to be around. And for a long time, I didn’t understand why.

It wasn’t that my husband suddenly became more irritating every time the weather changed. And it wasn’t that my marriage was falling apart on some strange seasonal cycle.

When I really thought about it, I realized the problem was this: 

1. My self-care cup was no longer full, because the things that nourished me in the previous season weren’t actually serving me anymore (or not suitable weather-wise). 

2. And I wasn’t being intentional about how I wanted to experience my marriage in this new season—or what I most wanted to receive.

That was my lightbulb moment. The problem - and the solution - were actually completely within my control!

So I created a ritual that has completely changed the way I experience every season (and every year of my marriage). At the start of each season, I sit down with my journal and make two lists:

• A Self-Care List (for me)

• A Desires List (for me and my marriage)

And let me tell you: this practice has been a game-changer. My marriage doesn’t drift into disconnection anymore. Instead, every season feels like a fresh chance to reset, recharge, and reconnect.

Fall is here, and I’m sharing my exact self-care and desires lists with you—plus a simple twist I’ve added recently that makes this ritual even more powerful.

Looking Back Before Moving Forward

This summer, before I opened a blank page for fall, I pulled out my summer lists and asked myself two questions:

1. Which of my pure desires actually came true?

2. Which self-care practices nourished me the most?

And wow, it was powerful.

I’m so proud to say that I actually did every single thing on my summer self-care list! That in itself feels amazing. Some of my absolute favorites were…

💕 Watching the sunrise at the beach with my two best friends. We sipped coffee, munched on a beautiful charcuterie board, took pics, and even went for a morning swim. Pure magic.

💕 Spending a whole day at the lake with my husband and kids—laughing, splashing, soaking up the sun, and just relaxing together. Those are the kind of days I’ll remember forever.

Now for my pure desires: out of 20, 14 came true! Not bad at all. My favorites?

💕 My husband surprised me on a random Thursday—for no reason at all—with a beautiful pair of earrings from my favorite jewelry brand, Jonna Jinton Sweden. I felt so loved, seen, and swept off my feet by that romantic gesture.

💕 Seeing Niagara Falls with my husband and kids! We road-tripped up, watched the falls lit up at night with fireworks overhead, and even got up close on the Maid of the Mist boat. It was pure magic—a memory I’ll treasure for the rest of my life.

Looking back makes me feel so proud, happy, and deeply loved. And it reminds me: these lists aren’t just words. They really do come alive, shaping how I experience life and how I connect in my marriage.

💭 So before diving into making this season’s lists, I’d love to invite you to take a few minutes to look back at everything wonderful you experienced this summer—and really let yourself soak in the joy, gratitude, and love that came with it.

My fall self-care & desires lists to feel loved and recharged in my marriage this season

Why Self-Care Shifts with the Seasons

I’ve noticed something important: my self-care can’t stay the same all year long. Summer self-care is light and bright—lake swims, bare feet, naps in the AC. But fall self-care? It needs to be grounding, cozy, and replenishing in a different way. Not to mention, fall can feel busy, even stressful with all the schedule changes, to-do's, and activities that come with back-to-school season for our kids.

When I take time to honor this seasonal rhythm, I show up differently in my marriage. I feel steadier, softer, and more available for connection. My husband doesn’t just get the leftover, stressed-out version of me—he gets the cared-for, alive version.

And when I’m that version of myself, everything between us feels easier and more loving.

My Fall Self-Care List

Here’s exactly what I’m committing to this fall (feel free to snag any that inspire you!):

1. Sipping morning coffee outside in the crisp air and golden light of early morning

2. A gentle forest walk to see the foliage

3. Journaling with my daughter

4. Monthly book club (mom’s night out)

5. Watching my show: Blood of My Blood (so good!!)

6. Face mask, tea, and a movie!

7. Tea time with a lovely tea cup

8. Naps!

9. Listening to 90’s and early 2000’s music :)

10. Lighting a candle

11. Getting a mani/pedi

12. Getting a facial

13. Giving myself a neck/scalp massage

14. Getting coaching

15. Walking my dog & listening to an audiobook

16. Daily workout & stretching

17. Deep breathing

18. Nutritious, hearty meals

19. Hydrating well

20. Getting 8 hours of sleep

The Power of Pure Desires

If self-care fills your cup, pure desires are what make your marriage sparkle.

A pure desire isn’t a demand, a chore list, or an expectation. It’s a gentle expression of what would delight your heart. It sounds like:

👉 “I would love…”

That’s it. No need to tell him how it should happen or add a timeline to it. Think of it as planting seeds of opportunities for joy and connection. You won't always know which seeds will germinate, or when or into what they'll bloom- but when they do- it will be wonderful.

When expressed this way, your desire becomes an invitation, not an instruction. It opens a door for your husband to step in as your hero, in his own way and timing.

Fall is the perfect season for this—because it’s naturally slower, cozier, and family-centered. It’s a season that invites connection, but only if we voice what would actually make us feel happy and cherished.

My Fall Pure Desires List

Here are mine for this season. I would love...

1. To cook fun seasonal meals

2. To go apple picking

3. To carve pumpkins

4. Eat apple cider donuts

5. Brunch with my sisters & my besties

6. To host a mom’s club meetup (muffins & coffee at the playground)

7. 1:1 hot cocoa & coloring dates with each child

8. Fuzzy socks!

9. A seasonal candle

10. Fall flowers on my table

11. A fall flowers wreath on my front door

12. A deep cleaning/decluttered home

13. A head massage

14. Lots of visitors

15. A new phone (mine’s barely functioning these days)

16. Homeschooling kit for my three year old

17. Some cozy maternity clothes

18. Cozy postpartum clothes

19. A pumpkin pie themed baby sprinkle (“A cutie pie is on her way”)

20. A maternity/family photo shoot in the foliage

Your Turn

Now it’s your turn to take a quiet moment with your journal and make your own lists.

🍂 What’s the self-care that will nourish you this fall?

🍂 What are the pure desires that speak to your heart?

This ritual is about so much more than cute seasonal activities. It’s about creating a marriage that feels fresh, vibrant, and joyful—every single season.

Because your desires are sacred. Your joy matters. And your marriage is worthy of this kind of intentional care.

Feel free to email me your lists for accountability! I love reading and getting inspired by what other women come up with! 

💌 info@coachlauraamador.com

Ready to Go Deeper?

If you’re ready to reignite connection in your marriage, I created a free guide just for you:

✨ 5 Steps to Reignite Connection in Your Marriage ✨

Grab it now and take the next step toward creating a marriage that feels as good as you’ve always hoped it could.

Happy Fall, my lovely friend. 🍁

Xoxo, 

Laura Amador 

Laura Doyle Certified Relationship Coach and Intimacy Skills Expert