How to Stay Inspired in Your Marriage This Summer as a Wife Practicing the Six Intimacy Skills

*For wives practicing the Six Intimacy Skills by Laura Doyle. Written by Laura Amador, Laura Doyle Certified Relationship Coach. 

With the longer days, warmer weather, and the kids home all day, summer sounds like it should be a time to relax and unwind. But if we're being honest, it can also stir up stress and strain—especially in your marriage.

Maybe you're navigating the tension of parenting disagreements that seem to explode when everyone's home more. Or perhaps you're hosting guests—or visiting family—and suddenly those old marital wounds or unspoken resentments start to bubble up.

Then there's the sneaky pain of comparison. Watching other couples on vacation, holding hands, or laughing over dinner while you feel... disconnected, distant, or like roommates. It can feel heavy. It can feel lonely. And it can make you wonder, “Why does it seem so easy for everyone else?”

If you're feeling that way, I want you to know—you're not alone. Summer might be filled with beach days, BBQs, and sunsets... but it can also bring simmering frustrations, bickering over little things, or that aching sense that your husband just doesn't "get" you anymore.

But here’s the good news: Just like planting a summer garden, tending to your marriage with care and intention right now can lead to a season full of laughter, connection, and sweet, intimate moments.

Whether you're longing to reignite the spark, feel more desired, or simply experience more peace and playfulness at home, these tips will help you stay inspired and committed to the Intimacy Skills this summer—while still soaking up sunshine, joy, and maybe a little sangria, too.

How to stay inspired in your marriage this summer as a wife practicing the six intimacy skills

1. Set clear goals for how you want to show up in your marriage this summer

While summer may seem like it should be all about spontaneity and going with the flow, the truth is—a little intention can go a long way in your marriage. Especially when the longer days, disrupted routines, and family commitments start adding stress.

This is the perfect time to pause and ask yourself:

• “How do I want to feel in my marriage this summer?”

• “What are my pure desires for this season?”

• “What does self-care look like for me this summer?”

Notice, none of these questions are about your husband or what he should do. They're all about you—how you want to experience your life and your relationship.

When you get clarity on that, you shift from reacting to the chaos to creating the experience you crave.

Your summer “goals” might sound like:

• “I want to show up playful and lighthearted in our conversations.”

• “I desire to practice gratitude daily, especially toward my husband.”

• “I want to take a break from control and open myself to receiving—whether that’s help, compliments, or acts of love.”

• “I want to bring more joy, more ease, and more laughter into our home.”

Why this matters:

When you're clear on how you want to feel and show up, it becomes easier to notice when you're slipping into old patterns—like criticism, control, or resentment—and gently shift back into your feminine power. Your intentions act like a lighthouse, helping you navigate the waves of summer stress with grace.

Pro tip:

I love keeping a simple journal or even a sticky note on my mirror where I write my relationship intentions for the week.

Something like:

• “Appreciate more, and choose my focus wisely.”

• “I am the goddess of fun and light.”

• “I receive with a grateful heart.”

Even just seeing those gentle reminders daily helps me stay anchored in who I want to be, no matter how crazy life gets with beach days, BBQs, or sibling squabbles.

2. Create a flexible “skills practice” schedule

Summer has a rhythm all its own—sometimes peaceful and breezy, sometimes chaotic and loud. Between vacations, BBQs, houseguests, and kids home from school, your usual routines can easily go out the window.

But here’s the good news: practicing your Intimacy Skills™ doesn’t have to be rigid or time-consuming. In fact, the more flexible and playful you make it, the more natural it feels, and the easier it is to be consistent.

Ask yourself:

• “When can I intentionally practice my skills in the flow of summer?”

It could be:

• During your morning coffee, pausing to savor the moment and focus on gratitude.

• In the middle of a hectic family outing, choosing to soften your tone instead of snapping.

• While driving together, practicing respectful silence or simply offering a smile.

• As you prep dinner, whispering a playful, “Mmm… whatever you think,” instead of offering advice.

Why this matters:

The small moments are where transformation happens. It’s not about getting it perfect—it’s about bringing consciousness and intention to everyday interactions. A soft smile, a gentle touch, or biting your tongue (just this once!) in favor of peace is how you weave the fabric of connection, day by day.

Think of it as creating a “Skills Practice Menu” for the summer. You don’t have to do everything, every day. Just ask: “What skill can I reach for right now?”

Pro tip:

I like to call this “pocket practice.” Just like you carry sunscreen in your beach bag, you can carry these little micro-practices in your back pocket all day long.

• Can I offer a smile instead of a complaint?

• Can I say, “Whatever you think” as easily as I say, “Pass the watermelon”?

• Can I catch a critical thought before it escapes my mouth and replace it with gratitude?

These small moments add up to big shifts. And the beauty is—you’re always in control of how you show up, no matter what summer throws your way.

3. Embrace your summer desires

One of the most powerful, and most overlooked ways to breathe joy and connection into your marriage is to get radically honest about what you desire.

Not what needs fixing.Not what your husband should change. Not what feels practical or realistic.

But what genuinely lights you up. What you would genuinely love to experience.

This summer, I invite you to carve out a little time with your journal, a glass of iced tea, and ask yourself:

• “What would absolutely delight me this summer?”

Then, let yourself dream. Aim for 20 pure desires. They don’t have to be big or expensive (but they absolutely can be!) they just have to feel delicious to you. Allow yourself to dream big and do worry about if it’s realistic or not. 

These are some of my pure desires this summer to help inspire you:

• “I would love to have lobster by the beach.”

• “I’d love to stargaze by a fire and toast marshmallows.”

• “I desire a lazy afternoon reading by the pool without a single interruption.”

• “I’d love to try paddle boarding—or at least laugh while attempting it.”

• “I would love to watch the sunrise and eat ice cream on the pier.”

Why this matters:

When you connect to your desires, you reconnect to your vitality, your feminine essence, and the part of you that’s fully alive. Your desires are your feminine power. Whether they’re fulfilled or not isn’t even the point (though you may be surprised how often they are when you stay on your paper).

When you share them—not as expectations or demands, but as breezy invitations like, “I would love…”—it becomes a doorway to intimacy, play, and possibility. It’s irresistible energy.

Pro tip:

A desire shared with no strings attached is pure magic. It lets your husband see an opportunity to delight you—if he chooses—without feeling pressure or control. But even if no one else acts on it, you’ve already won. You honored your own heart.

So whether it’s chasing fireflies, making s’mores, or simply buying yourself that floaty lounge chair for the pool, don’t underestimate the power of a woman who knows what she desires—and owns it.

Another pro tip:

Your only job is to stay on your paper. Name the desire. Share it if it feels good. Then release it. Whether it happens or not, you’ve already won—because you honored your own heart.

4. Stay connected—to yourself and your support

When we think about “staying connected,” it’s easy to focus only on our husbands. But here’s the truth: The most important connection you maintain this summer is the one with yourself.

Practicing the Six Intimacy Skills™ flows so much more effortlessly when your own cup is full—when you feel grounded, nurtured, and supported. But when you’re exhausted, depleted, or overwhelmed (hello, summer chaos with kids, houseguests, or never-ending laundry), showing up as the best version of yourself feels nearly impossible.

That’s why it’s essential—not optional—to prioritize what nourishes you. 

Ask yourself:

• “What helps me feel calm, joyful, and centered?”

• “What restores my sense of well-being?”

  
  

It might look like:

• Morning yoga in the park, breathing in the fresh air.

• A hammock, a good novel, and permission to do nothing else for an hour.

• A quiet walk listening to your favorite podcast—or the birds.

• Coffee dates (virtual or in person) with girlfriends who get the Intimacy Skills™ journey.

Why this matters:

When you stay connected to yourself, you naturally show up more playful, present, and magnetic in your marriage. You become a woman who radiates peace and joy, which makes practicing the skills feel lighter and more natural—even when life gets loud.

And remember, staying connected also means leaning on your support system. If you’re part of a community of empowered wives, have a coach, or attend regular group calls—don’t take a summer break from that. It’s not just maintenance; it’s nourishment. It’s like watering your marriage garden. Without it, things start to wilt. With it, everything continues to blossom beautifully.

Pro tip:

Schedule your support time before the chaos fills the calendar. Whether it’s a weekly coaching call, a girlfriend check-in, or time set aside for your favorite restorative activity, protecting that time is an act of love—not just for yourself, but for your marriage. Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s skill care.

5. Reflect and recharge

Summer’s natural rhythm invites us to slow down. Take time to reflect on questions like:

• “What’s working beautifully in my marriage right now?”

• "How full is my self-care cup?"

• “Where do I want to soften or grow with the Intimacy Skills?”

• “What moments made me feel the most cherished this month?”

Then, give yourself permission to relax. Remember: resting is productive. A joyful, well-rested wife is magnetic.

Pro tip: 

Schedule a mini solo retreat—even if it’s just a couple of hours at a coffee shop or the beach with a journal. Ask yourself, “How do I want to show up as a wife for the rest of this summer?”

6. Play more, control less

Summer naturally invites us to lighten up—the warm nights, the slower mornings, the spontaneous moments. It’s an ideal time to experiment with loosening your grip, stepping back from control, and leaning more into playfulness—not just with life, but in your marriage.

Playfulness is about creating moments of lightness where connection can breathe. It’s the energy of being open, relaxed, and present. And the magic? That energy is deeply attractive.

Ask yourself:

• “Where am I holding on tightly right now—and what would happen if I softened?”

• “How can I invite more levity, ease, and play into my relationship today?”

Simple, natural ways to be more playful (without feeling fake or cheesy):

• Share an appreciative smile when he walks into the room, without saying a word.

• Let him make a decision without offering input—even if it’s as small as what route to take on the drive.

• Sit beside him while he’s working on something—not to help or advise, just to be in his space with no agenda.

• When he makes a joke or tells a story, pause to really listen, laugh, or touch his arm—offering your presence as a form of playfulness.

• Share a desire out loud with a light tone, like “I’d love to grab ice cream after dinner”—an invitation, not a demand.

• Softly touch his shoulder as you pass by, make eye contact just a little longer than usual, or rest your head on his shoulder if it feels right.

Pro tip:

If it feels awkward at first, that’s okay. Playfulness isn’t a performance—it’s a muscle. You’re not doing it “for him” as much as for yourself, because playful energy feels good in your body. It helps shift you out of stress, resentment, or heaviness and into flow, softness, and openness.

And remember—playfulness isn’t about being loud, goofy, or performative. It can be subtle. Quiet. Even elegant. It’s less about what you do and more about the energy you bring: relaxed, open, light.

Your summer of intimacy and joy

Practicing your intimacy skills this summer is all about finding that sweet balance between savoring the slower pace of the season and intentionally nurturing your marriage.

Remember—the key to a vibrant, connected marriage isn’t about trying harder. It’s about bringing more softness, more playfulness, and more receiving into your relationship. Little shifts lead to big transformations.

And you don’t have to do it alone. Whether you’re looking for a gentle reset, deeper support, or community with like-minded women, I’ve got you covered:

Your Next Steps:

• 💌 Grab my free guide: 5 Step to Reignite Connection In Your Marriage

• Explore Haven: Our private coaching community for empowered wives committed to practicing the Six Intimacy Skills™ in a supportive, compassionate sisterhood.

• Ready for personalized support? Apply for private coaching with me, where we’ll work together 1-on-1 to help you create the connection, ease, and joy you crave in your marriage.

Let’s make this your summer of connection, joy, and feminine power. I can’t wait to support you.

Xoxo,

Laura Amador

Laura Doyle Certified Relationship Coach and Intimacy Skills Expert