5 Signs You're on the Brink of a Marriage Breakthrough With The Six Intimacy Skills (But Don’t Know It Yet)

You have a deep desire for connection in your marriage. You’ve read The Empowered Wife, listened to the podcast, practiced the Six Intimacy Skills™ as best you can, and tried to shift your focus back to gratitude—even when it’s hard.

But despite your best efforts, there are still moments when your marriage feels… stuck. You’re doing the work, showing up with love, and hoping for change—but some days, the spark still feels out of reach.

Whether it’s trying to express your desires without sounding critical, wondering how to stop feeling like the only one doing the work, or trying to understand why your husband has shut down emotionally, it’s easy to feel like you’re running in circles.

Sometimes, even when we’re doing everything right, it’s hard to see the next step forward. You might be closer to a marriage breakthrough with the Six Intimacy Skills than you realize, but certain things can keep you from feeling that progress.

If any of these five signs sound familiar, keep reading—there’s more going on beneath the surface than you might think. You may just be on the edge of a transformation, and with a little insight, things can start shifting in ways you never expected.

5 signs you're on the brink of a marriage breakthrough with the Six Intimacy Skills (but don’t know it yet)

1. You’re doing ***everything right*—but your relationship still feels flat**

You’ve surrendered control. You’ve practiced being more vulnerable. You’ve made self-care a priority and rooted yourself in gratitude. You’ve even softened your tone, let go of criticism, and focused on your own happiness.

And yet… something still feels missing.

You’re not arguing like you used to. There’s less tension. Maybe you’ve even seen small flickers of change. But that deep, soul-nourishing connection you crave? The affection, the time together, the spark? It still feels just out of reach.

You’re not in crisis anymore—but you’re not thriving either. And that in-between space can feel confusing and lonely.

You’ve searched online for answers like:

“Why isn’t my husband responding to the Intimacy Skills?”
“Why do I still feel unappreciated in my marriage?”
“How do I know if I’m doing the Intimacy Skills right?”

You’ve journaled your desires, spoken your truth, made amends for past disrespect. You’ve done the things.

But when your efforts don’t bring the connection you hoped for, it’s easy to start second-guessing yourself. Maybe you wonder if you’re just doing it wrong. Maybe you worry your marriage is the exception. Maybe a little voice whispers, What if this is as good as it gets?

Let me reassure you: if you’re showing up with love, softness, and a willingness to grow—you are doing a beautiful job.

But here’s the thing: even when you’re doing everything right, it’s possible to have blind spots. Small, subtle patterns that are almost impossible to catch when you're the one in the middle of it all. It’s normal, and it doesn’t mean you’re failing.

You might be so close to the breakthrough you’re waiting for, without even realizing it. That’s why the work of refining and deepening the Intimacy Skills™ can sometimes feel like you’re getting stuck—even when you’re doing all the “right” things.

The good news? These blind spots can be uncovered. With fresh perspective and support, you can identify where things are holding you back and discover how to move forward more effectively. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of seeing your efforts from a new angle. And when you do, the path ahead becomes clearer, with the connection you’ve been working toward just within reach.

“I didn’t realize how often I was still trying to fix him, even in subtle ways. My coach helped me shift just one small thing, and suddenly, he was pursuing me again.” — Private coaching client

Even one small change can transform the dynamic. Your marriage isn’t stuck—it might just be waiting for you to see it with fresh eyes. And the good news is, you don’t have to figure it all out on your own. There’s power in discovering those shifts and gaining clarity on where you can grow—and sometimes, it just takes a little external perspective to unlock that.

2. You’re spending so much time trying to fix your marriage… you’re exhausted

Be honest—how many hours a week do you spend thinking about your marriage? For me it used to feel like almost every waking minute.

How often do you replay conversations in your head, analyzing every word, every tone? Do you find yourself wondering:

Did I say that desire the “right” way?”
Was I soft enough? Should I have been more light and playful?
Did I accidentally sound critical again?

If your mental energy is consumed by questions like these, you’re not alone.

Many women who discover the Intimacy Skills become deeply committed to practicing them—because they’ve seen the hope and transformation they can bring. But without loving support, it’s easy to fall into overthinking, self-monitoring, and emotional exhaustion.

You’re constantly in relationship triage mode—trying to fix things, adjust your approach, and decode your husband’s every reaction. And it’s exhausting.

You might find that:

You can’t turn your brain off—even when you're supposed to be relaxing.
You struggle to enjoy time with your kids or friends because your mind is stuck on something he said… or didn’t say.
Even your self-care starts feeling like a checklist to “get right” in hopes that this will finally make things better.

Here’s the thing: it’s not that you’re doing too little. It’s that you’re carrying too much.

And you don’t have to.

You don’t have to keep troubleshooting your marriage in your head, alone. You don’t have to keep pouring energy into trying to “get it perfect” when what you really need is some gentle perspective, some encouragement, and a reminder that you’re already doing beautifully.

The key isn’t about doing more or being perfect—it’s about lightening the load. It’s about keeping your focus on what actually works, not what you think you’re doing wrong. It’s about lovingly pulling you out of the mental swirl and back into your heart.

Imagine redirecting that mental energy toward joy… Toward rest. Toward dreaming again. Laughing again. Loving again—with the man you married.

3. You keep second-guessing yourself and the Six Intimacy Skills

Let’s be honest—trying to practice the Intimacy Skills on your own can sometimes feel like walking a tightrope… with your eyes closed and no safety net.

You want to do it right. You want to be respectful, soft, vulnerable… But what does that really look like when emotions are high and your heart is tender?

You ask yourself…

Was I too vulnerable? Or not vulnerable enough?
If I say "I can’t," will he think I’m cold or distant?
Is it disrespectful to speak up right now—or is it a missed opportunity to connect?

So you hesitate. You overthink. You freeze.

And before you know it, you’re playing it safe instead of playing full out. You start tiptoeing around the Skills—trying here, holding back there—until it feels like you’re losing momentum altogether.

You start falling back into old habits, not because you’re lazy or uncommitted, but because you’re tired of trying to get it perfect.

And let me say this clearly: That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.

There is nothing wrong with you.

When we try to do deeply transformative relational work in isolation, we often end up stuck in self-doubt—not because the work isn’t effective, but because we’re trying to figure it all out in the echo chamber of our own mind.

Getting guidance from someone who's transformed her marriage successfully with the Intimacy Skills is like flipping on the lights. Suddenly, you can see clearly. You realize: Ohhh… that’s what I was doing there. Ahh… that’s how I can say that with more vulnerability next time.

It’s not about being corrected—it’s about being seen and lovingly guided back to the heart of the Skills. It’s about getting curious instead of critical. Gentle instead of judgmental. And learning to trust yourself again.

“I didn’t realize I was making my husband wrong every time I said ‘We need to talk.’ My coach helped me reframe things in a way that invited connection instead of pushing him away.” – Private coaching client

When you stop second-guessing and start receiving guidance, everything shifts. You don’t have to wonder if you're doing it right. You get to feel confident in your practice—and the connection that flows from that clarity? It’s priceless.

Because your marriage isn’t a puzzle to solve. It’s a relationship to nurture—and you don’t have to nurture it alone.

4. You’re missing out on deeper connection—and it’s not your fault

If you’ve been quietly carrying the emotional weight of your marriage, trying to “get it right” on your own… it makes perfect sense that things still feel heavier than you’d like.

Because even though you’re doing so much right—even though you’ve been committed, open-hearted, and willing to try—it’s easy to miss just how much more is possible when you stop doing it all alone.

The truth is, by trying to figure everything out by yourself, you might be unintentionally delaying the intimacy, joy, and peace you deserve. And it’s not your fault.

We live in a culture that celebrates independence and “figuring it out on your own.” Especially as women and mothers, we’ve often been conditioned to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness.

But in marriage—especially one you’re working hard to revive—receiving support isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.

When you allow yourself to be supported, here’s what opens up:

A husband who begins opening up emotionally—and even starts seeking you out for connection (Yes, even if he’s been distant or distracted for a long time.)

A home that feels light, playful, and safe again (Even with the whirlwind of kids, laundry, and endless to-dos.)

A steady sense of peace deep in your bones (That confidence of knowing: I can handle this. I’m not alone anymore.)

Support doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re ready to rise. It means you’re brave enough to say, “I’m worthy of ease. I’m ready for more joy.”

Because your marriage isn’t meant to feel like a project. It’s meant to feel like a place of refuge.

You’re allowed to exhale. You’re allowed to stop hustling for connection and start receiving it. You’re allowed to enjoy your marriage again.

One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is, “I should be able to figure this out by myself.” But the most empowered thing you can do is surround yourself with women who get it—and a coach who can hold the mirror up with compassion and care.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing to receive the support that gets you closer to the love you long for.

5. You want things to get as good as you can stand

There comes a moment when your heart whispers, “This can’t be it.” You know you don’t want to keep having the same arguments. You don’t want to keep tiptoeing around your husband or feeling like a stranger in your own home.

You’re craving something more—more warmth, more playfulness, more closeness.

But when it comes to what to do next… everything feels a little blurry. You’ve read the books. Listened to the podcasts. Tried the tools.

And still, there’s that quiet ache: There has to be a better way… right?

You don’t need a dramatic turning point to know it’s time for a shift. Sometimes, the most powerful changes begin from a whisper of willingness. A simple, quiet “I’m open.”

That openness is sacred. And when you take one small step from that place—even just one—a new path starts to unfold.

Maybe it’s a conversation that goes differently than it ever has.

Maybe it’s noticing a spark of affection that hadn’t been there before.

Maybe it’s the first time in a long time you feel seen.

“I joined Haven thinking I was too far gone. But I started showing up, practicing just one Skill at a time, and week by week… I fell back in love with my husband.” – Haven member

The way forward doesn’t have to be heavy or overwhelming. It can be gentle. Grace-filled. Step by step. And it starts with trusting that your desire for deeper connection is enough.

You’re not lost—you’re just on the edge of something beautiful.

You know how I know?...

Because you have already made it this far. You've learned and practiced the skills. You've been standing for your marriage. And you're not willing to settle for 'good enough'. You want more. You are courageous and strong. And in my experience, that means you're headed towards a huge breakthrough! So keep going. You're on the right path.

What helps the shift happen

Sometimes, the biggest breakthroughs come not from trying harder—but from being lovingly seen. As a certified Laura Doyle relationship coach, I support women who are brave, heart-centered, and deeply committed to their marriages—but who still feel stuck, even after doing so much right.

Whether through Haven (my group coaching membership) or private coaching, I gently help women:

Uncover hidden blind spots that block connection
Rebuild trust in their intuition and feminine gifts
Restore peace, joy, and intimacy in their homes

Not through pressure or perfection—but through presence. Through compassion. Through small, powerful shifts that ripple out.

Here’s what real clients have shared:

“I felt so alone in this journey until I joined Haven. I never realized how powerful it is to be surrounded by women who get it and a coach who really sees me.”

“Coaching gave me the missing piece. I finally stopped trying to do it perfectly and just let myself be vulnerable—and the shift in my marriage was almost instant.”

“Before coaching, I thought my husband had changed. But really, I had stopped seeing him clearly. Now? I see the man I fell in love with again.”

You don’t need to carry this alone. Sometimes all it takes is someone walking beside you to help you remember how capable—and how loved—you really are.

Take your time, trust your heart

This isn’t about rushing into anything. Take your time. Pray on it. Reflect. This is your journey, and it’s important to honor where you are right now. The most meaningful decisions come when we listen to our hearts and trust our intuition. If you're feeling called to take the next step, it’s essential to find someone whose approach resonates with your values—someone who can walk alongside you with compassion and understanding.

If you found yourself nodding along to these five signs, if something deep inside whispered, "This is me," then it might be time to give yourself the gift of support. It’s easy to think you need to wait until things feel more urgent or crisis-driven, but sometimes, the breakthrough happens when you simply decide to stop carrying the weight alone.

You may be closer than you think to the shift you’ve been waiting for. You could be right on the brink of a breakthrough. Your marriage deserves to feel light and connected again. And you don’t have to walk this path alone. There’s a way forward—whether that’s with coaching, a supportive community, or simply by taking a moment to reach out.

Trust yourself. Trust your timing.

Ready to take the first step?

Explore Haven Membership – Our intimate group coaching circle where you’ll be gently guided, supported, and celebrated as you practice the Six Intimacy Skills in real life.

Interested in 1-on-1 support? Learn more about private coaching and schedule a connection call to see if it’s the right fit for you.
Get the free guide: 5 Steps To Reignite Connection In Your Marriage

💌 Have questions? Reach out at info@coachlauraamador.com or leave a comment below. I’d love to hear from you.

You deserve a marriage that feels light, loving, and safe again.

And you don’t have to get there alone.

Xo,

Laura Amador

Laura Doyle Certified Relationship Coach and Intimacy Skills Expert