The Bad Old Days
In 2015, I read a book that forever changed my life. I had been struggling along in my relationship with my husband for several years. I felt lonely, disconnected from him, struggled with bouts of jealousy, and had a general unease about the direction we were headed.
After reading countless relationship advice articles and books, I stumbled upon “The Surrendered Wife” by Laura Doyle. Everything I read resonated with me and my experience so closely, I knew I had found what I was looking for.
As I began implementing the skills in my relationship, I saw immediate positive changes for the first time. I was so excited!!
However, just a few short weeks into using the skills, I hit a plateau. Suddenly, I felt myself slipping back into my old patterns and the skills that had seemed so exciting suddenly seemed really difficult. I felt extremely discouraged, frustrated, and even more heartbroken because now I had a taste of how good things could be.
I was confused. I didn’t understand why some of the skills that had worked so well just weeks ago were suddenly making my husband irritated. It was as though the skills had lost their magic.
I knew there was a missing piece. I had already seen with my own eyes just how powerful the skills are when implemented correctly. I felt stuck.
Ups and Downs
For an entire 2 years I stumbled along by myself trying to implement the skills as best I could. I reread “The Surrendered Wife” about three times a month. I had the audio version on constant replay during my commutes to and from work and would read a chapter every night before bed. I clung to the skills like my life depended on them. In fact, my marriage did depend on them.
During those 2 years, my relationship was like a wild roller coaster ride. Everything would seem so great between us and I would be filled with hope only for him to distance himself again the following week. As sad as it sounds, this was still progress for us since previously there was only distance. At least now we had good moments mixed in.
Going All In
In 2017, just weeks before the due date of our first child, I knew I couldn’t continue this way anymore. It was extremely important for me that we start our family with the strong foundation of a happy and healthy marriage. I wasn’t willing to settle for anything less than that. I knew I deserved to feel happy and loved, as did my husband, and our child deserved to feel secure in her family, knowing that her parents loved and respected each other.
I finally made the commitment to go all in with the skills...
Finding the Missing Piece
I knew in my heart that with the proper support, I would be able to get the lasting transformation I wanted.
Getting private coaching revealed to me all the areas where I was still using the skills in a way that was heavily laced with control. No wonder I wasn’t getting the results I wanted!
My coach helped me create actionable plans to help me navigate the areas in my relationship where I was struggling. As I did this, the intimacy and steady connection between my husband and I began to skyrocket.
While getting coaching, not only did my marriage transform, but so did I. I am proud of my journey and the woman I've become. I feel dignified, self-honoring, loved, and joyful. I know deep in my soul that I am deserving of all of this. My husband and I have fallen in love with each other all over again. Perhaps best of all, for the first time in my life, I have fallen in love with myself.
Creating a New Cycle
So many women struggle because they are following a failed recipe. You may not have had a healthy example of what a respectful and loving marriage should look like. This may be a cycle that dates back many, many generations.
I believe in my soul that transforming my marriage has birthed a new cycle. One where my children get the gift of observing day in and day out what a respectful and loving marriage looks like. I have faith that they will grow up to live out the same values in their relationships.
It is my biggest hope that I am just the beginning of a new generation of self loving individuals that have the skills to be kind, empathetic, and deeply respectful of their loved ones. I want my legacy to be the knowledge of how to have strong and healthy relationships. That is the greatest gift I can offer my children and future grandchildren.
That is also the greatest gift I have to offer the world.
Becoming a Coach
Every day, my heart is filled with gratitude because I am living out my dream of loving and being loved, and of feeling fulfilled and secure in my marriage. I know there is no way I would’ve been able to get to where I am today without the help of a coach. I will be forever grateful to her for the guidance, love, and support she gave me.
I decided to become a coach because I am now a firm believer in the transformative power of coaching. I know that had I not received coaching, I would still be struggling with the same frustration and pain as before. Getting coaching was like taking off a blindfold after years of grasping at the skills in the dark. I finally was able to get the transformation I had wanted so desperately.
I know that there are many women who, like me, see the power of the skills but struggle to implement them in their unique life situations. They feel stuck and aren’t able to use the skills to their full potential to get the transformation they crave. They see that the missing piece is the guidance and support of a coach who is highly committed to their success. It is my honor to be able to do just that for my clients.
Things Keep Getting Better and Better
There have been many times during my journey when I thought to myself, "wow, I did it! I'm finally here and my relationship is better than I ever could've hope for". Then, life surprises me by unfolding to reveal an even deeper transformation.
Life is sure to bring challenges and adversities. I stand strong knowing I am equipped with the skills to handle them well alongside my husband who is my rock, lover, and hero.
I went from just craving a conversation or a smile, to having a full transformation in my marriage, heart, and spirit.
I share my journey with you because I know that when I was first using the skills, I felt frustrated with my progress. I thought there was something wrong with me. I felt shame because I saw the skills working magic for so many women and I couldn't seem to get the same results.
I want you to know that for me, it was a process that took time, patience, and commitment. I needed to get support and guidance to be able to get the consistent and lasting connection and intimacy I wanted. If you feel that way too, you're not alone and there is no shame in it! That doesn't mean the skills won't work for you, not at all.
This is all possible for you too. I believe there is nothing more powerful than a woman who knows what she wants and is armed with hope, courage, and the right skills. You can absolutely do this!
So take hope dear soul, in knowing that there have been many women before you that have walked this path and come out on the other side with great success! I am cheering you on!
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