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  • Writer's pictureLaura Amador

3 Ways to be More Feminine In Your Marriage

Updated: Oct 12, 2022



The essence of femininity fascinates me. It is gentle and powerful, relaxed and energetic, creative and receptive, courageous and encouraging, and ferociously loving. The same woman can be a nurturing mother, seductive wife, formidable protector, and powerful leader all in one. Femininity is a beautiful paradox.


At the same time, femininity can bring out masculinity in a man.


I often hear many women say that their husband is too passive, unwilling to make decisions or to be the leader of the family.


I have found that the more that I step into my femininity, the more masculine my husband becomes. His self confidence, leadership, and protectiveness heightens the more I inspire and allow the space for him to be masculine.


I enjoy being feminine because it is a rich, delicious, and powerful essence. I also love the polarizing energy it brings to my relationship where we are drawn to each other like a magnet to steel.


These are 3 ways to be more feminine in your marriage.


Know That You Are Truly Deserving


I stepped out of the bathroom after a shower wearing a long tee shirt. My husband looked at me and said I looked good. I scoffed saying “yeah right” and ran away to put on some leggings. And that was when it hit me. I did not know how to receive.


I could think back to so many times I had rejected help, compliments, and gifts. No wonder he scarcely complimented me, I acted like he had insulted me rather than complimented me!


I often avoided receiving to avoid being a burden to others because I was perfectly capable, because it would be easier to just do it myself, and because I didn’t think the compliments were deserved.


Learning to receive graciously meant allowing myself to believe that I deserved the compliment, help, or gift that was being given to me.


What I know now is that when I reject a gift, compliment, or help, I am rejecting the giver.


Today, if my 2 year old offers to sweep the floor (which means just spreading the crumbs out more), I say thank you. If my husband starts loading the dishwasher (even though he doesn’t scrape all the food off like I do), I say thank you. If my coworker says my hair looks nice when I think it's a frizzy mess, I say thank you.


Receiving graciously can be difficult because many of us are afraid of seeming conceited or inconsiderate, and because receiving is vulnerable.


Vulnerability is exactly why receiving graciously is feminine and so conducive to intimacy. Receiving graciously from your man fosters a culture of gratitude while encouraging him to want to be your hero.


Being Soft and Vulnerable


Being vulnerable with my husband means that instead of defending myself if he says something critical I say, “ouch”. If I am asked to do something that will make me resentful, I say, “I can’t. Instead of complaining when he doesn’t spend time with me, I say “I miss you”. It means I make the choice to show my soft and tender side to my husband.


Being vulnerable can be scary and really uncomfortable at first. Many of us are not used to feeling emotionally exposed and have been taught to suck it up or to defend ourselves. Vulnerability is powerful because it allows us to teach people how to treat us, honors our own limits and desires, while also feeding the intimacy in our relationship.


Get in Touch with Your Desires


Laura Doyle often says, “desires are the seat of feminine power”.


So many of my little unnecessary disappointments came from not knowing or honoring my desires. I used to get upset when my husband came home late from work because dinner would be cold and I would be hungry.


If I had asked myself “how do I feel and what do I want”, I would’ve been able to know that I felt hungry and wanted to eat a hot meal. Then I could accompany my husband when he did arrive since I also wanted to reconnect with him. This would’ve been much more enjoyable than berating him when he walked through the door about why he wasn’t home sooner, leaving an icy chill between us.


Now that I know the power of desires, all I have to say to my husband is "I would love a date night, or new earrings, or to go on a vacation" and he is quick to make my desires come true.


Honoring our desires can also mean giving ourselves the permission to dream. As women, we are very powerful manifestors. Only when we turn our gaze towards our desires do they have the possibility of becoming our reality.


I hope you find yourself inspired to explore the power of your femininity for yourself and in your relationship.


I’m standing for you!


-Coach Laura


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